Disclaimer: This post will be more of a personal journal entry. I’m writing all this as I’m waiting for my flight to SFO, so go easy on me! I’ll do my best to pepper in some trite motivational phrases, but it’ll still be a good read.
Odds are if you’re reading this, you know me, and if not then hello!
I’m glad you’ve somehow reached this page through the black hole of the Instagram.
I’ve heard people say bad things happen in three’s, and boy were they right. My girlfriend left me, my pup nearly drowned, and I had a very narrowly escaped death. I'm knocking on wood as I write these lines. I truly hope that’s the last of it, but the day ain’t over yet.
My point of stating these things isn’t for you to take pity, or to say my problems are more important than yours. We all choose how heavy our crowns are. Some of those things are more serious than others, yet they were all significant events in their own right.
Let’s start with the first event: “Getting Dumped”
When I posted my last field note entry, I wrote this line:
“You are okay” I told myself, and in truth, I was.
I have to confess that that statement was very preemptive. Almost immediately afterwards I was hit with a wave of sadness. I felt incapable of moving on or putting myself back together.
I have a very bad habit of looking at relationships like collateral damage. The thought of investing time in someone who will temporarily be in your life is frightening to me. But I guess that's just how I see things. I’m not a gambling man, so find it tough to find the right person to invest in. I’m not sure how people do it.
That being said, when I choose to invest my time in someone I put 110% of myself into it. As I wrote that sentence I realized how stupid that must make me seem. Maybe not stupid, but definitely foolish or naive. Don’t be like me!
I’m a big believer that things happen for a reason. If they’re meant to happen they’ll happen. It may not happen right away, good things take time. If patience is a virtue, be virtuous.
Next event: “#DoggoDoesTheSwim”
This scared the shit out of me. I was at work, on one of our fancy treadmill desks when Irvine Animal Services called. I knew the officer from high school and she had helped catch Volt the first time he ran away.
While I was cheerful and inquiring as to why she had called, she somberly said
“You need to come home right now, Volt fell in a pool and nearly drowned”.
Something no pet owner wants to hear. I was distraught.
I thought that even if he was okay, they’d take him away for sure.
I failed to protect and care for this pup.
When I got home the officer approached me, she said that he slipped in the pool, made quite the commotion and a stranger walking by jumped in the pool to save him.
She said that he was almost at the bottom of the pool by the time the man jumped in.
Let me say how eternally grateful I am to this stranger. This man refused to share his contact information solely to stay out of the spotlight. I don't know who you are, but I love you. You saved one of the nearest and dearest things in my life. But I will never forget what you've done. I hope to one day repay the favor to someone else in need.
I wasn’t sure what to do. It made me think of what this puppy meant to me. I raised this mischievous little bastard from when he was 6 weeks old. I saw his personality develop in front of my eyes. He went from being a quiet timid puppy, to a loud, obnoxious little hell-raiser. I miss the quiet puppy days.
I stayed up all night making sure he was okay. Crying mostly. Staring at him as he stared back.
So onto the good news, he’s perfectly okay. I got him checked by the vet the next day and he was back to his regular antics. All’s well that ends well, although I think Volt and I would both agree we’d rather it not have happened in the first place.
Lastly: “How am I alive right now?”
This last experience was grim. Honestly, I’m not sure how I made it out of this accident alive let alone in one piece. Going northbound on the 5, where the 405N and the 5N split right before Irvine Spectrum I was slowed down to 5-10mph. In my last entry I stated that I’ve spent a good amount of my young adult life trying to control my destiny, impossible. The car behind me wasn’t paying attention and collided with my car at 40-50mph. My car then swerved into the lane’s next to me which then collided with another car going 20-30mph. Both our cars from that second collision ended up off the freeway sliding down hill.
When I came to and saw my car. I was told I was lucky to be alive, that this was my second chance. That really spoke to me. Up until now I didn't believe in that sort of thing. It sounds hokey. I'll never know how I survived that crash, but if this is a "Second Chance", I definitely want to make it worth something. That accident in a strange sense was really good for me. I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. It made me look at a lot things through a new perspective.
This sort of ends abruptly. If you made it this far I appreciate you reading this. These events all had a significant impact on me. While I can't say I handled all situations gracefully, in the end I realized a few key things. It made me realize the breakup doesn’t really matter, Volt is okay, I am alive.
If you aren't okay right now, you will be soon. Love without consequence. Always be grateful.