These last few weeks I haven't had the time to write my thoughts out.
Between pulling multiple 13 hour work days to meet deadlines, homework, balancing a social life & trying to be a good father to my pup I don't think I've had much "me" time lately. It sucks.
But it's all part of growing up & taking on more and more responsibility.
In my last post I talked about balance and positivity, yet here I am feeling a little burnt around the edges. Knowing I've neglected relationships I shouldn't. Knowing I've flaked on people I shouldn't have, all for the sake of trying to get one step ahead.
Here I am, tired as all hell, in front of my computer with massive bags under my eyes.
Going from being an employee to managing a team has been a whirlwind experience. I've achieved my career goals at 25 but I'd rather give it up and go back to being managed. I'd love to put away my computer at 5 P.M., stop replying to emails and Slack messages and go out with the boys for a drink.
I noticed it getting super out of hand earlier this week. While out on a date I was checking emails & messages from my team rather than focusing on getting to know the person in front of me.
Not too sure if she noticed, but it felt super shitty when I went home.
Action & consequence.
But even the action of inaction can have consequences. Flaking & neglecting people only go so far until they're out of the picture completely.
If life is about balancing responsibilities, I'm definitely out of balance. But it's better to be introspective now and focus on changing it before it keeps getting worse.
I don't want to be that guy checking his phone constantly for work, I want to enjoy my life with the people I'm with.
Still figuring it out as I go. Putting one foot in front of the other and hopefully soon I won't be looking at my feet.
For those I've neglected and passed over, I'm truly sorry.