YOU ARE O.K.
Three important words for the young boy I used to be. Sometimes we create problems for ourselves. Sometimes our mind betray's us, finding meaning and reasoning in the wrong areas. Painting a painful picture of something that may necessarily not be true.
Take social media for example. App's like Instagram can create your own personal hell if you let it. A few weeks back I felt like I needed to purge Instagram from my life. It went from being an app I used to share and showcase my art with others to a game.
When should I post this picture?
How many likes will it get?
Who's going to see it?
This feeling amplified when I started using Instagram stories. Someone I was seeing told me that she had to stop looking at my page & stories because it felt like I was providing "status updates" to everyone sharing what I was doing.
I could easily upload something to Instagram, but I couldn't text someone back in a timely manner. It felt so wrong.
I was letting this storm consume me.
But this kind of feedback can be eye opening. I was convinced I was "living my best life", sharing exciting moments with everyone following me online.
I would view my discover page and view cool posts people would like but it caused more trouble than it was worth. Often times it just ended up hurting me in some way.
I believed I was content & happy with where I was mentally, but all it took was one post to change my mood.
I wondered why I was doing this to myself.
Why am I letting this storm consume me?
A friend then told me, "This is the cost of seeing with clarity, you start seeing people for who they really are".
So do you want to see clear?
No, I don't.
I want believe (naively) that the connections I've made are strong and can withstand the fiercest storms.
It took some time to let go and understand that whoever wants to be in your life will make the effort to do so. To not let these digital demons dictate my mood.
Talk about First World Problems, right?
We've made such amazing tools that allow us to express ourselves, share moments & connect with people who care about us. But these tools can also be a destructive.
I took some time, but I found my footing.
Regardless of the weather, I'll land forever upon my feet.
Even storms need time to rest.